A Yahoo! Messenger IM that never failed to send me scampering in excitement to announce to everyone at home that Dad was leaving office and ON THE WAY HOME! It used to amazed mom, how I would know so precisely when Dad was leaving office. Simply because I spent many an afternoon chatting with him, and he in turn entertaining my never-ending chatter about how my day went, who did what, what happened at home etc etc.
"My lil' reporter," he'd affectionately call me.
Hey, lil' Jo knew her number 1 duty as a daughter was to keep her dad abreast of all current happenings, ok?
"I can't sleep now. I've forgotten everything!" I told Dad in a complete state of panic when he opened my room door the night before my SPM History paper.
"You'll remember it all tomorrow. Don't worry. Just sleep now," he calmly said, switching off the lights.
And dang, was he right.
Ever the overprotective Dad, he struggled to see his lil' one leave the nest, repeatedly asking me to reconsider my decision to take up a scholarship that would first send me to study in Jitra, Kedah before moving on to the UK for a degree.
"Take the other scholarship, the foundation is in Taylor's..." But I knew what I wanted, and I went ahead to spread my wings, painful as it was to leave the home that I knew at 17.
"Dad's been diagnosed with colon cancer..."
"What stage?" I fearfully asked.
"Stage? It's stageless... it's everywhere..."
In a heartbeat, I made the decision to return home. I vaguely recall exclamations of disbelief and lectures on stupidity.
"Why are you giving up your entire future for your father?"
"Don't be stupid."
"It's YOUR future, not your father's."
You'd be surprised how heartless people can be, even when you're clearly undergoing a state of emotional turmoil.
"My DAD gave me MY future," a biting response I discovered to be pretty effective in halting wagging tongues.
******
It's been 6 years since you've left us for a happier, pain-free world. So much has happened over these years, so much growing up I had to do, so many milestones I achieved as a young adult, even as I found myself struggling to find my footing in this world.
It has been pretty amazing years, Dad. I truly wish you could have walked with me along the way... But sometimes a girl has to do her own growing up, and I sure hope I've done an okay job without you.
Happy Father's Day, Dad. I love you.
Forever your lil' reporter,
Char boh
No comments:
Post a Comment