A peek out of the window.
A squint into the future, a glance into the past.
A trainfull of memories, chugging its way past, archiving memories and experiences along the way.
25
stations later, I look back at the archive of experiences and memories
which have been painstakingly collected, some brutally forced into the
archive (despite my kicking screams and protesting tears), and some
eagerly and joyously created along the exciting journey of Life.
It
has been a remarkable 24 years to date. I'm still in slight disbelief
that I have begun this journey into adulthood. It's odd, when you enter
this stage of life and you connect with people who have had the
privilege of 20, 30 years of adulthood experience over you. You feel
like a baby all over again, and you realise how little you know. Funny,
when I was a teenager I thought I had the whole world figured out.
At
the same time, you realise just HOW MUCH there is to know. How vast the
galaxy of knowledge is, and how one has barely even mastered an atom of
knowledge in comparison.
I
spent the 24th year of my life undergoing tremendous change. Revamping
my value and belief system, reconstructing who I am, taking a dangerous
plunge into the unknown and resurfacing with startling discoveries,
albeit desperately gasping for air. But definitely resurfacing with a
far more open mind, and a much deeper love for myself and consequently,
others.
Change
has oftentimes been hard, painful even, for me. At some point last
year, I stopped thinking, I stopped writing. Hibernated from life, threw
myself into work. It was a period of existing, not living. A time of
surviving, not thriving.
I
have to say, it was a pretty good break. Something we all need to do,
every once in a while. (Although 1 year is a mite too long, I think.)
Akin to how the physical body enters a comatose state to induce healing,
it was something my psychological self desperately needed.
Towards
the end of 2015, I awakened from my stupor, and I found back my zeal
and determination for life, to taste all that it has to offer, and to
continue running this journey at a relentless pace.
As
I step off onto the 25th station of Life, I look back fondly at all the
memories and experiences that have moulded me into who I am. Joy, Pain,
Victories, Failures, Sorrow, Love, Tears, Peace, Frustration. The
Joanne today is the embodiment of a myriad of experiences, and I cannot
see how I would change anything in my past. Every foolish decision I
have ever made has inched me one step closer towards wisdom; every
painful challenge I have ever undergone has given me an extra ounce of
strength and courage.
Today, I turn quarter of a century old. I'm still a babe in the big, wild jungle of Life, but ready or not, here I come! ;-)
